But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
