you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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