Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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