I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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