You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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