Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
