At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
