Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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