Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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