What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
