can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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