His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
