Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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