new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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