that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
