Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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