i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
