youre lurking in front of me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
