he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
