can u get pink eye on your cock?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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