Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
