Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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