that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
