I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
