My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
