Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
