did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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