Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i barfeds in our rink
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
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