I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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