woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
