did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
