Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
