Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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