Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
