and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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