Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How external is "for external use only"?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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