My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's no shave November. This is our time.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
