the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
