It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
