Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
