did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
