Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
