i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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