Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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