Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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