Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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