Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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