Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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