Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
