Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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