so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
