So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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