well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
