anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My dick has a subreddit
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
