i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?