Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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