just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
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My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.