There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
