I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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