If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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