I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
