Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
