Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
