Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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