Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So squirting runs in the family.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
